


And so it begins.

by orphan_account



Series: I call it control. [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Derek Hale-centric, Eating Disorders, Family Feels, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, Sad, Scott is a Good Friend, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski Feels Guilty, Stiles Stilinski-centric, The Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23665462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The pack are there for each other, always. But what help is this when they don’t accept each other’s help?OrWe learn about the troubles in the pack, particularly through the eyes of Stiles and Derek.
Relationships: Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: I call it control. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704013
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hellloooo and welcome to a brand new series! It's been a while. Please don't read this fic if you think it could trigger you, I promise you're worth more than some fic, so stay safe and take care of yourselves!

Stiles POV  
He couldn’t remember how it started. That’s obviously a lie. It felt like yesterday when he got up way too late to eat the breakfast his dad had made him before school. So, in true Stiles form, he sprinted out the door, his hoodie still hanging off one shoulder with his car keys in his hands. He had no choice but to ignore his dad’s huffed sigh when he knocked the stack of mail from the side of the hall - school had already started and he still had a 10 minute drive. He barely even recognised the empty feeling in his stomach until his lunch period rolled around. He found his friends quickly, realising that in his early morning rush he’d forgotten to pick up his usual lunch from the kitchen. Deciding to busy himself by talking to Scott about whatever video game they’d played together last night, Stiles skipped his second meal of the day.

He couldn’t ignore the feeling that gave him though. He felt proud. He knew it was a weird reaction, but nothing Stiles did was normal, so he allowed himself to feel the sense of power not eating gave him. It made him feel like the world was in his hands. Of course, when Stiles got home the first thing he did was raid his cupboards of all the delicious food he’d bought in the last shop with his dad. But it was good while it lasted.

Stiles never told anyone about that. People already thought he was weird as it already was. He could handle being labelled as a weirdo though. And if he wasn’t naturally strong against the title already, he definitely got used to it after nearly 17 years of being called it. Besides, his friends never seemed to mind the way he could speak for the whole nation, or how his legs constantly bounced in an odd rhythm. That’s just how he got sometimes. He didn’t choose it.

Thinking about it, there was a lot in Stiles’ life that he didn’t choose. Things he couldn’t change. He didn’t choose to be the smallest boy in his friendship group. He didn’t choose to be the worst on his lacrosse team, despite working his ass off every training session. He definitely didn’t choose for his mother to die when he was 8. Stiles could sit for hours, curled up on his bed like he often did, just thinking about all the things he was forced to deal with. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a negative kid at all. In fact, everyone that met him would describe him as a happy, upbeat boy. But sometimes he just liked to think about this stuff. He was distracted from his thought by his phone ringing next to him. He looked over and saw Scott’s name on the caller ID, so instantly picked up the phone.  
“Hey man, the pack are gonna go for pizza tonight, you comin’?” Scott practically shouted down the line.  
“Yeah sure, meet you there at 7?” Stiles replied, a smile creeping onto his face.  
“You know it dude.” And then the end of call beep rang, so Stiles walked over towards his bathroom to shower, completely forgetting about the thoughts he’d had just minutes before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack meets at the Diner.

Unsurprisingly when Stiles got to the diner, the rest of the pack was sat at their usual table by the window. Stiles slid into the booth, greeting everyone with a wide, goofy smile. No one even batted an eyelid at the fact that he was 20 minutes late, not out of ignorance, but simply because Stiles never arrived on time to anything. He was either extremely early or extremely late. So yeah - his time management sucked, but everyone’s got their own flaws. Like the way Scott was too selfless, often landing himself in trouble to protect others. How Jackson was too wrapped up in the fact that he was adopted to see anyone else caring for him. Lydia was too swayed by other people’s opinions to show the world just how smart she actually was. Isaac flinched at sudden movements, but everyone understood (years of abuse tends to do that to a person). He could name at least one flaw for every person at that table. All except one: Derek Hale. 

Other people may jump to the fact that Derek was held back 2 years at Beacon Hills High School. So now, despite being 20 years old, Derek was still in the year above the rest of the pack. No one really knew why he’d been held back. Like many other things, Derek decided to keep that a mystery. But boy, if there was one thing Stiles loved, it was a good mystery. Maybe that’s why he was so attracted to Derek. Or maybe it was his electric blue eyes, or his perfectly toned muscles. Or maybe it was…

Jackson interrupted his thought from across the table.  
“Yo Stilinski, you gonna order or what? I’m starving here!” And that’s the moment Stiles realised two very important details. The first being the waitress standing beside him, offering him an awkward yet kind smile as she held her notepad in front of her. The second being that Derek was looking right back at him, almost like he could sense that Stiles was thinking about him. He wouldn’t be all that surprised if he was - he was a werewolf after all. Stiles turned his attention back to the waitress and placed his order of curly fries, knowing fully that the rest of the pack would’ve ordered only pizza. Don’t get him wrong, pizza was awesome - but only if it came with curly fries. 

When the woman shuffled off to complete their order, the rest of the pack erupted into conversation about the latest drama at school. Apparently, there was a new boy who totally fit Danny’s type. Unfortunately for him, though, Lydia had pounced on him straight away and no one could deny Lydia. Well, no straight boy could. Stiles used to be obsessed with Lydia. He used to go home to his dad every night and tell long stories in far too many words than necessary about a beautiful girl in his class with strawberry blonde hair and perfect teeth. His dad just laughed back then. He didn’t really take notice until Stiles started coming home telling him stories about the beautiful boys in his class too. 

Luckily, though, the sheriff was supportive of his son’s sexuality. So Stiles never really “came out” per se - no, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut long enough to hide the fact that he liked both girls and boys. But he was okay with that, and everyone else seemed to be too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out how Derek met the pack.

Derek POV  
Nights like this were the best with the pack. He’d never admit it, but these people had been a godsend to Derek. After he was held back, people started to talk about him - you know, casual teenage gossip. But Derek wasn’t exactly the most patient of people, so he got into a lot of fights on his return. His mind was so focussed on what other people were saying that he found it nearly impossible to listen in lessons. As a result, his teachers decided it would be “in Derek’s best interest” to stay behind for two years rather than the initially planned one. It wasn’t something he was particularly proud of, and so he kept it to himself. He just couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone other than Laura, who had found out from the school anyway, that the reason he was still a senior despite being almost two whole years older than everyone else in his classes.

Naturally, the rest of the school created their own theories. Derek wasn’t too bothered at this point - he was too busy just trying to pass this year. And quite frankly, some of the theories were quite ridiculous. I mean, who’d get held back two years for puncturing their chemistry teacher’s tyres. He laughed when he heard the stories like this. Once upon a time, he’d have punched these morons in the face with a little more than human strength. But after sitting through many lectures from Laura, who was surprisingly intimidating despite only being a year older than Derek, he had learned to brush it off and calm down a bit. 

All of Derek’s friends had left, and he didn’t have many to begin with, but they’d all moved up together, leaving Derek behind. It didn’t bother him, though, and that’s how he found himself meeting the pack. He was sat at a lunch table on his own, where he had learned to accept the fact that no one would want to speak to him with all the rumours going around. That changed though, when the year below Derek came rushing into the cafeteria, spreading across the remaining tables. He didn’t pay much attention to them until a rather loud boy came and sat directly next to him. The rest of his group had already filled the remainder of the table, but the pale boy just threw a cautious “You don’t mind if we sit here do you?” over to Derek and started smiling awkwardly when he got the reply of “Looks like you already have”.

Derek found himself tuning into their conversations, listening to what the lively teens had to say without even realising it. But before long, the bell rang loudly, announcing the end of lunch period, and the group left. Derek tried to cover his disappointment until the next day, when he found the same group heading towards his table. Today, they actually spoke to Derek. He would never tell anyone, but it felt like he had friends again. It felt like he belonged again. But he was still paranoid that as soon as the teens realised who he was, they’d ditch him and he’d be alone again. 

It shocked him, but they actually got really close. On one of the many days out the group went on together, he braced himself and decided to tell them about werewolves. They laughed. But not in a “dude you’re crazy” way, but more like they were expecting it. The pale, freckly boy he had found himself drawn to since the start simply said:  
“Derek, this is Beacon Hills, nothing you say could surprise us” and the whole group laughed. And for the first time in months, Derek went home with a warmness in his chest. When no one else could speak, Stiles had stepped up with his usual level of sarcasm - typical.

After Derek met the pack, things were a lot better. Even Laura said he seemed happier than he had even before the fire that killed most of his family.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What actually happened with the Hale fire??

Everyone in Beacon Hills knew about the Hale fire. The local news covered the story while the ash was still falling from the ruins of the family home.  
“11 Dead in Catastrophic Fire”  
“Hale family destroyed by home fire”  
“Only 2 Survivors From Devastating Fire”  
New headlines came out every few days for months after the fire. And even when the news stopped writing about it, the fire was still the talk of the town. To ordinary people, Beacon Hills was a really boring town. The fire was the biggest thing to happen since as long as people could remember. It didn’t make it any easier for Derek, though. To always be reminded of his dead family. Wherever he went, people pointed, stared, whispered to whoever else was nearby “That’s the Hale kid”, “Isn’t that…”, “Oh my days, it’s the poor thing from the news”.  
Derek had become accustomed to tuning the whispers out, but it was still hard. He was so grateful that Laura had been through all the rumours, all the stares, all the pain with him. 

Everyone thought that Derek was a damaged kid. Sure, who wouldn’t be after almost all of their family was killed in such a brutal way. People thought it was weird how he closed himself off to people after it happened. In reality, he was actually just waiting for someone to speak to him. To not be afraid of upsetting him. Everyone that tried initially gave one awkward attempt and never even looked at him again afterwards. That’s why he was so grateful for Stiles. He kept that to himself, though. 

Derek Hale was kind of known for keeping things to himself. While he told the pack almost everything these days, there was one thing he was sure he would never be able to tell another soul. Not even Laura. He was the only one that knew what happened the day of the fire.

It all started when his mother forced him to watch ‘The Notebook’ when he was twelve and he realised that he thought Noah was more beautiful than Allie. Unlike Stiles, Derek actually had a filter, so he kept it to himself. He didn’t realise he was gay at that point, but it did make him think. He’d never thought about who he might love, but when he finally did, he realised that girls just weren’t for him. 

Like most people, he was really nervous to come out to his family. His family were always drilling it into him that he had to seem normal. He had to fit in. And if he didn’t, people would find out about the whole family’s involvement in the supernatural. Derek kept it in for the longest amount of time possible, but eventually it got too much to handle. So he sat down with his parents one night and told them. His mother got up from the kitchen table and walked out of the room, silently weeping. His dad, however, wasn’t so silent.

“GAY, DEREK? Really? You’re seriously telling me that my son, the big bad werewolf, likes to screw around with other boys?” Derek thought he was finished, but when he parted his lips to protest against his fathers words, he burst out again.

“No, don’t you dare Derek! I can’t even look at you right now! You call this blending in? Acting normal? Well it’s not. You’re a disgrace to this family and I want you OUT!” his dad bellowed, visibly shaking, veins popping from his neck and forehead.

“Dad please! It doesn’t change anything, I promise. I’ve got nowhere else to go, you can’t just leave your son like this and-”

“ENOUGH! No son of mine is gay. You can go live with your uncle Peter”. At that, Derek stood up and advanced across the room towards his dad. He gave him one harsh shove as he walked out of the room. He just wasn’t expecting his father to stumble so far into the tray of lit candles on the side. Derek watched in horror as his dad went up in flames, screaming for his life, while the fire just kept spreading. His father shrugged off his attempts to help him, screaming “I DON’T WANT YOU DEREK” even through the pain.

So he left the room to try and find some water, a blanket, anything to just stop the fire! But the Hale house was extremely large, and he just couldn’t get around it in time. The rest of that night was a mix of horrific memories. He could remember the screams of his family. He could remember the heat of the flame against his shoulder as he tried to bash the door down to get some of his family out. But it was no use. He remembered Laura, pulling him outside. He remembered the loud crash as the building collapsed. 

Most importantly, he remembered the last thing his father had said to him I don’t want you Derek. Ringing in his ears like church bells over and over again.

So yeah, Derek was 100% sure he had killed his own family. And it was all his fault.

**Author's Note:**

> tbc


End file.
